Apartment 420 - The Funk in Dysfunction

I danced with the ghost of romances' past last night... 

greedy fingers prying open wounds nearly healed;

but not quite. 

There's something particularly masochistic 
     in being romantically bulimic. 

You engorge yourself with love- 

filling to capacity, 

but expelling it emphatically

before it can sustain you. 

You're an emotional accordion. 

It's not as though you're suffering needlessly, though. 
There's a wealth of people profiting from misery. 
     Just turn on the radio from time to time...

   Pop songs are plagues set to melodies. 

     Honestly, though,

what good can come from the gluttony of love? 

It simply isn't enough to find joy anymore- 

          No stories begin at "happily ever after."

That line's a better closer

     than a fucking coffin nail. 

So I scrape off some skin, 
and call the last girl I slept with. 
     For the first time since that night. 
         After nearly a year has passed. 

I throw a text message at the suicidal chick 
that sent nude photographs of herself to my cellphone. 

I even send a note 
to the woman who gave me the worst head EVER.
You know...
     the one who's responsible for the scars???
Who basically lapped at my foreskin for forty minutes
and occasionally made actual contact with the head, 
           causing spasmodic contortions 
that thrust my dick directly into her gag mechanism. 

I figure round two ought to garner me a Grammy nomination. 

That's how you get ahead in this life: 
     you suffer so many setbacks 
that with even a mediocre depiction of events
     you're given fame for a consolation. 
The door prize at the rehab clinic 

          is 2 million copies sold on your next album. 
5 million copies of your bestseller fly off shelves 

      once it hits paperback. 
                     Easily. 

The way I see it, 
I'm one bad relationship away 

     from writing that ever-elusive hit single.
A few tear-tinged evenings away from a world tour 
     and a nickel-a-day coke habit. 

I've just got to find someone to put me into my misery...